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Solve your life dilemmas with expert advice from Maura O’Neill
Dear Maura: I’ve learned that being on your own sometimes helps you work out what you really need. Over the years I’ve always been in relationships. At 31, I’ve broken up with my latest boyfriend. My usual is to go out with friends and meet someone else straight away. But for some reason, maybe it’s the new year, I can’t do that anymore. I do want to meet the right person, whoever he is, but for now, I’m going to focus on myself so when he does come into my life I’ll recognise him. Does that make sense? Through my 20s, I just did like everyone else. Now, I’m ready to stand back and work out what I want. I woke up one day and felt that I hadn’t a clue where I would be in five years’ time. This was around the same week my relationship ended. I sensed that things were in alignment and the universe was sending me a message. My resolution is to put me first and hope I will figure some things out. So, Maura, you’re the expert, am I on the right track? Or do I still have too much New Year’s Eve party spirit in my blood? Answer:Whatever you were having at that party, I want some! What an amazing depth of self-awareness has been gifted to you. I love the whole approach you have for the start of 2023. I think having reached 31, you’ve quite a bit of life experience behind you. Maybe some relationships weren’t up to much and now you’ve had enough of that routine. Your epiphany moment is telling you to let go and give yourself some space. Well done on two levels — first for recognising what isn’t working in your life and second for taking action. It’s all too easy to stay with the familiar but you’re welcoming changes to your life and that’s a great way to start the new year.
Dear Maura: My girlfriend of eight months broke up with me by sending me a text. I did not see this coming at all.
Where did I go wrong? What did I do? I spent a fortune on her at Christmas. She took the presents when she must have known that she was going to walk away. I just want to know what happened.
Is that too much to ask? When I ring her she won’t answer and then she turns off her phone. I don’t want her back but I want some answers.
That’s fair enough isn’t it?
Answer:I’m on your side with sympathy because you’ve been treated like this. But you know what, it’s not going to get you anywhere worrying about where you went wrong, or what happened to you in the relationship.
Some people are just like your ex-girlfriend, they move on regardless of anyone’s feelings as they only focus on their own. Take control of the situation and go out with your friends, play football, whatever you like to do to distract yourself.
By hoping you’ll be able to talk to her is giving her a say in how you move on from this. Look to yourself now and take charge of this situation. You could hang on for ages hoping to get answers from this girl while she has forgotten already. You deserve better!
Email your problems to Maura O’Neill email@example.com All pictures are posed by models