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“Dad won’t say a bad word about his only son, which makes us feel worse”
Dear Maura: My older brother refuses to acknowledge our dad is ill and won’t visit. He calls the sister he gets on best with for an update. He lives abroad but is only about a two-hour flight away. He was recently here for the holidays.
We’re not sure what’s going on. Dad won’t say a bad word about his only son, which makes us feel worse. One of my sisters had a go at him and he just walked away. It’s like there’s something he wants to get off his chest but can’t find the words.
Dad is doing fine at the moment but we’d like our brother to visit more regularly.
Answer:Has anybody spoken to your brother about how much your dad loves to see him?
He has an emotional responsibility to visit more often. He could also FaceTime him. Or there’s Zoom, which is a gift, particularly when there’s distance involved. So, your brother has no excuse.
What kind of relationship do they have? Were there any issues that could still be lurking on some level?
How about the sister he’s close to talks to him to find out how he’s doing with all this? It will be interesting to hear his response.
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